I have been making a big mistake. I only just realised. So I wanted to make it public, in the hopes that I don’t do it again!
I’ve been investing in self-development for a while. Books, audio, coaching, seminars…I do it all, and these things are great, but I made one fatal error. This week I made the realisation and so much of what I had been feeling confused about just fell into place.
For a long time I thought self-development was about self-improvement. I’ve been in problem solving model; figuring out what was wrong, and fixing it.
Suddenly I came to a realisation and that realisation is life-changing for me. Maybe if I share, it will be life-changing for you too.
A few days ago I was working with someone I really respect. This person has strength of character and is intelligent. He is driven in his career and loves deeply in his relationships. He is a leader in his industry and an entrepreneur in the world. He dreams bigger than himself and lives to inspire and serve others.
He said, ‘When I’m given a compliment I find it hard to accept.’
He said, ‘When I do something that I am proud of, I minimise it.’
He said, ‘I find it hard to think of times I’ve been proud of myself.’
I was intrigued. Because someone like him has A LOT to be proud of, and then I had to look at myself. Because the truth is. I do it too. What is it? It’s called ‘Mental bashing’. I ask myself questions like, ‘Why aren’t you doing as well as you could be?’ or ‘Why aren’t you doing as well as others?’ We hurt ourselves emotional and spiritually by not acknowledging our beauty.
We undervalue ourselves. We forget about the incredible person that we are today and the extraordinary things that we have accomplished to date. We minimise our strengths and exaggerate our weaknesses.
But I’m changing that today, because I made a new pact with myself. I’m making a promise to honour myself.
Instead of talking to myself in a language that downgrades my beauty, I’m going to ask myself questions like, ‘How is what you are doing right now exactly right for where you are in your life?’, and ‘What did you do this week that you are really proud of?’.
The answers to those questions have already begun to shift how I look at myself. Because underneath the insecure, ‘less than’ version of myself the truth is…
I love me. For ALL my weaknesses and ALL my strengths. I know them. I accept all of them. I love that I get to spend an entire lifetime with me. No one else gets that. I love that I am step-by-step creating a career that is the perfect fit for me. I’m proud that I work hard to build a financially sound future for my family.
If I was someone else I would love to meet me and spend time with me. If I was my own daughter I would be proud of me. I’m so grateful for the person that I’ve become today. Why wouldn’t I be?
Don’t make the same mistake I made. Love yourself today and do it quickly. Because it feels amazing and others will sense it. They will know. And you will know too. And that’s the best part. When you get to enjoy spending time with yourself. Because there is no one else like you.
Lil
Lilia Tarawa 